


matchmaker, matchmaker, i'll pierce the veil

by greenurr



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Based On Buzzfeed Unsolved, Ghost Hunters, M/M, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-15
Updated: 2018-10-15
Packaged: 2019-08-01 05:51:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16278974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greenurr/pseuds/greenurr
Summary: …do these ghosts fuck?I think the ghosts fuck*laughter**wheezing*





	matchmaker, matchmaker, i'll pierce the veil

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WhyHelloThere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhyHelloThere/gifts).



> This is... nonsense. I hope you enjoy?

Hi, I’m TJ Oshie and his week on Capitals Unsolved we’re looking at

the case of Andre Burakovsky and Christian Djoos

as part of our ongoing investigation:

are ghosts real? You excited for this one, Holts? 

I mean, sure, you haven’t told me what

it’s about yet though

so like, I can’t get too excited

But just excited in general, to be looking for ghosts

 

Not really, TJ

We do this like, every week 

Well, get excited,

because this is one of our first cases of friendly ghosts 

Friendly? Oh, so you won’t piss your pants this time?

*Wheezes*

Well I can’t promise anything 

Nicke, let’s make sure to bring extra adult diapers

Don’t bring the sound guy into this!

You know what, let’s just get into the case

Andre Burakovsky and Christian Djoos were newly weds

on their honeymoon just two years ago

when, tragically, the beach house they were staying in burned down

It’s since been rebuilt, but visitors report strange happenings

Oohh, happenings

But not your normal kind of ghost happenings!

One visitor on vacation reported

waking up every morning to a cup of coffee on her bedside table

when she was the only one there in the house 

So she just went on vacation by herself?

That’s weird

Not the point, Holts

Other people actually report warm spots in the house

the TV randomly turning onto rom-coms

and sometimes, late at night, the sounds of groaning and rhythmic bedsprings

from other rooms

…do these ghosts fuck?

I think the ghosts fuck 

*laughter*

*wheezing* 

Oh my god

Ok I’m actually excited for this case now

\---

 

Nicke puts the boom down and shakes out his arms. The producers usually just let TJ and Braden shoot the shit in the intros, and while it makes good content, they go on for fucking ever and it kills his biceps.

“Everything sound good?” asks Alex, putting the lense over his camera. Nicke nods.

“Good on your end?” he asks. They both know that if something had gone wrong, they would have called a stop to the shooting, but they still always check in with each other anyway.

“As good as it can be when I have to film those ugly mugs,” says Alex.

“Hey!” says TJ, from across the room. Alex sticks his tongue out at TJ.

"You’re a paragon of maturity Alex, and that’s what I like about you,” says Nicke, shaking his head.

“Is that all you like about me?” asks Alex, slyly looking at Nicke out of the corner of his eye. Nicke rolls his eyes.

“If you’re not on location, I want you cleaning up here! Alex, TJ, Braden, you’re with me.”

Nicke picks up his little rolling suitcase on the way out the door, slides into the back seat at the same time Alex does. They shoot a little bit of TJ and Braden bantering and discussing the case on the way down. It’s a long ass drive; the beach is pretty remote.

When they get there, Nicke has to admit that it’s a lovely little house. It’s small, one story, but right on the beach, painted a bright and cheery yellow. He knows it’s been rebuilt since the fire, but if this house is anything like the one that was before it, he can see why the Djoos-Burakovskys were vacationing here.

“It’s a nice house,” murmurs Alex, over the sound of TJ and Braden bickering. Nicke can feel his breath on his neck, and he shudders.

“Yeah,” he says. “Come on, let’s get set up.”

Nicke and Alex haul in their suitcases and equipment, Braden and TJ following behind. But when Nicke and Alex cross the threshold the door slams shut, separating the group.

“What?” asks Alex, looking behind him. He puts the suitcase he was holding down, goes to open the door. “It’s stuck,” he says, rattling the doorknob.

The front door is stuck. So is the back door, and the basement door, and the windows.

“We’re gonna go get help, okay?” Braden yells through the door.

“If you see a ghost, make sure to record it!” adds TJ.

“Stuck in a house with you, huh?” asks Alex, turning to Nicke. “I can think of worse things.”

Nicke blushes a bit, and opens his mouth to respond, but before he can he feels a force, heavy at his back, push him forward. It almost felt like two hands pushing on his shoulder blades. He pitches forward, and Alex catches him.

“Sorry,” says Nicke. “Sorry.” He grabs at Alex’s shoulders to steady himself. They’re very strong. 

"Oh, woah," says Alex. "You okay, babe?"

"Yeah," says Nicke, shaking his head. "I don't even know what happened. It felt like somebody pushed me, or something."

"Weird." Alex frowns. 

"I'm gonna go take a shower," says Nicke. "I don't get paid enough to deal with this shit."

He heads down the hall, Alex following. There were two bedrooms, a master suite and another, smaller room, still with a double bed.

"Why don't you take the master suite," says Alex. "After you get out of the shower we can figure out the food situation."

"Sounds good," says Nicke. He starts to unpack, but takes a moment to just sit on the bed and think. This situation isn't a disaster, but it's far from good. Let alone for professional reasons—they're gonna get so fucking far behind on shooting it makes Nicke's teeth grind to think about it—but for personal reasons, also. Nicke's kept a lid on his feelings for Alex for a while now, for various reasons. Professionalism, for one. He's seen how sour office romances can go, and he values his position at the company too much for that. 

He also figures that, well, if Alex wanted something he would have acted on it by now. They've been dancing around each other for literal years, and sure, Alex flirts with him, but he flirts with everyone. Nicke has confidence in himself, but he isn't so far up his ass that he thinks everyone who's ever bought him lunch has a crush on him. Even though Alex buys him lunch like... all the time, and knows his order at every restaurant in a three mile radius of the office by heart.

 _It doesn't matter_ , he tells himself.  _He would have said something, if he had feelings._

"Just like you've said something about your feelings?" a voice asks from behind him. It's young, and a little cocky. Nicke whips around, but the room behind him is empty.

"Over here," says the voice, behind him again, and when the voice talks Nicke can feel hot breath on his ear.

"Don't tease him," says another voice. It's coming from the open door, but no one is standing in it.

"Djoos..." whines the first voice. 

"You've made enough of a mess already," says the second voice. "Let's go." 

Nicke didn't even realize he could feel the presence of other people in the room until it's gone. Right as the presences leave, Alex comes up and knocks on the door, face sheepish. 

"We have another setback," he says, wincing.

Nicke groans as he follows Alex back to his room, but his jaw actually drops when he sees the damage. The room is wrecked. The bed is turned over, two of the legs broken off. The pillows are torn open, feathers flying in the air. The mattress has an enormous slit in it, half of it's stuffing pulled out. 

"I love you, babe, but you are so heavy handed," the second voice sighs.

“I was just giving them a nudge!” protests the first voice, before both presences fade again.

"Jesus Christ," says Nicke.

Alex winces and scratches the back of his head. "I was in the kitchen, checking out what food there was, and when I came back, it was like this. I didn't even hear anything. I have no idea what happened."

"...I hope the rental doesn't charge us for this."

"Well, what are we gonna say? Who's gonna believe us? Oh, and come look at this."

Alex heads into the kitchen opens up the fridge.

"Oysters. Chocolate. Chili. Garlic. Sweet potatoes. Pomegranates."

"So?"

"These are all aphrodisiacs. Or at least, they're supposed to be," says Alex. When Nicke looks over at him, his ears are red. "What? I went in an internet hole a few weeks ago." 

"I cannot handle this. I’m taking a fucking shower," says Nicke, turning around and walking down the hall.

He takes his fucking shower. It's a very nice shower. The water is hot, and the pressure is good. The shower itself is gorgeous, big, with beautiful marble tiling. 

"Big enough for two," suggests a whispered voice.

"Not in the fucking shower!" hisses Nicke. "I'm naked!"

"...Sorry," says the voice. It recedes. When Nicke steps out, there's enough steam in the room that he can just see the outline of a man, broad-shouldered and tall, in the mist.  _Mr. Backstrom-Ovechkin_  is written in the condensation on the mirror, along with a big, looping heart.

"Are you serious?" asks Nicke. "Really?"

The figure in the mist shrugs. "I died when I was twenty-one, man," it says. "I don't claim to have a lot of maturity."

"Good fucking riddance," says Nicke.

The figure throws it's head back and laughs. "Don't take too long doing your hair. Christian's helping your boyfriend with dinner, and my hubby is a great cook."

When he steps out of the bedroom Nicke just follows his nose into the kitchen. It smells amazing. If he knew Alex could cook like this, he would have made a move a lot sooner. When he enters the kitchen, Alex is standing there, the table already set, dinner on the table. He's wringing a dishtowel like he's nervous.

"What's for dinner? Smells great," says Nicke, smiling.

Alex doesn't answer, just strides across the room, grabs Nicke by the shoulders, and kisses him hard. Nicke makes a confused sound at first, but after a second, sighs and melts into Alex, putting his arms around his waist. Behind him, he hears a victorious, "yes!" and a peel of pleased laughter. 

"Where did that come from?" Nicke asks, when Alex pulls back.

"From beyond the veil," says Alex, and smiles.

\---

("I am so, so sorry it took so long, guys," says TJ, the next day, after the fire department has knocked down the door. "Did anything happen while we were gone?"

"Not really." Nicke shrugs. His hair is a little messy, and he looks more relaxed than TJ's ever seen him.

"Okay, I'm glad," says TJ, and looks over to where Braden is talking with Alex, nodding and stroking his beard. It's... objectively, it's a great beard. On a pretty damn good face. TJ tries really hard to tell himself that he's jealous of Braden's facial hair. Yeah. Jealous.

"Interesting," says a voice, hovering up by the ceiling. "You up for another go, babe?"

"Sweetheart, I'd do this with you forever."

Two amorphous lips smile, and meet in a kiss.)

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos are super appreciated!!


End file.
